Comments on: Protect the children first.

By: Tira

Tira — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 07:04:20 +0000

Sadly, Joshua took the details of what happened that night with him to his grave. We will never understand why.

By: D.A.

D.A. — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 08:36:25 +0000

In no way would I suggest that the kind words for Joshua take away from Amber. I met him. A friend of mine worked face to face with him daily. He was a kind man, and I echo what has been said about him. I mourn him, and his family, but I focus on Amber.

Amber’s family is beautiful, and so are her friends. That’s the nature of someone so remarkable. It gives me strength to talk to them, to see how they are dealing with such an awful situation. It also gives me a hope in humanity that the Lall’s and the Fisher’s have shown such strength and solidarity.

I wish you could have met her. Thank you for the post, and the kind words.

By: Pen

Pen — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 01:06:33 +0000

Kathleen Kelly: From what I have seen of the Lall and Fisher families in the face of unthinkable tragedy and intense scrutiny, they have shown incredible grace and class. I believe that these people, her remaining family, will ensure she is well cared for. Hope that is of some comfort.

GMC: Thanks for your insight, you have summed things up quite eloquently.

D.A. I too am sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how you must feel. Please be assured that the kind words for Joshua in no way diminish the magnitude of losing Amber. It appears that the Bowerman family and others in her circle of influence have also shown a wealth of grace which speaks volumes. She sounds like someone I would have liked to have known.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:19:56 +0000

Thank you, D.A. for sharing your experience and for putting a different perspectiveon this. I am sorry for your loss.

By: D.A.

D.A. — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:41:01 +0000

There was never a sense of danger or aggression, or even the hint of an argument in that house. I slept there many times, and had dinner there, and watched movies in the basement there with Amber.
She loved it there, and was excited that the Lall’s had decided to reduce the rent over the summer to keep her around. She was not having an affair with Joshua, and for some to suggest so makes me very angry. Amber and I were very much in love.
The relationship between the Lall’s and Amber was friendly, but not a friendship. She had drank wine with them a couple of times upstairs, or chatted with Allison and the girls on her laundry day.
The only sounds Amber spoke of, and the only sounds that I ever heard, were happy children playing, singing and sometimes crying. Amber had nothing but good things to say of the Lall’s. She saw no signs.
Whatever was happening upstairs, was not shared with her. She was a brilliant woman, and a quick read of people. I know she was not home the weekend before, and likely hadn’t seen Joshua for a few days or more. Perhaps Allison knew that things were getting out of control, but couldn’t accept just how bad they were.
The one thing I do understand is that for people to get together and speculate on things they don’t understand doesn’t help anyone absorb this tragedy. Though I don’t think anything really can.

By: Michele

Michele — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:12:13 +0000

So that’s it? No effort to reduce the likelihood of this happening again? We shouldn’t even try?

I can’t accept that.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:37:43 +0000

It seems to me that nobody is listening to the facts. Somebody that is bent on destroying lives will do it, no matter, as well as their own.

The courts can not prosecute somebody that has died on account of all that has happened in Calgary and elsewhere.

That’s such an easy case for the law. Just blow it off as a man gone insane that erradicated his family except for one little girl. Anna. And so many others like her.

The police work is harder, after all, but, in the end, their work leads to the same conclusion, time after time. Their work is time-consuming but will still come up with the same scenario. A motive. What motivated this guy to do it. We may never find out in a lifetime.

How can a system lay blame when they have no idea of how to handle a case like this in the first place.

And it will happen again and again. Even tho, with all our questions and help.

There has been quoted a 1966 scenario of why things like this occur, but, still, in 2008, we read about and experience this dilemma in our society. All the expert analysts, the specialists in this field, (who get paid mightily for their input, I may add) the best, have still not figured this out, so how can we?

We can just express our grief and still ask the question “Why”. And we’ll be doing it for a long time to come. Even with all our know-how of how not to have these terrible events occur.

By: MJ

MJ — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:05:32 +0000

http://www.jaapl.org/cgi/content/full/33/3/354

By: crazybengal

crazybengal — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:33:34 +0000

yet again – another man who goes off the deep end and selfishly chose to take his loved ones with him…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1026627/Man-gases-children-Fathers-Day-tragedy.html

By: GMC

GMC — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 05:17:32 +0000

How many who have posted here have faced dealing with the onset of mental illness in a loved one? It is so easy to play arm chair psychiatrist, and say what you would or would not do. The fact is that you don’t know how you will react until you are faced with the situation.

I have been faced with the sudden onset of mental illness in a loved one….my youngest son. He developed psychosis over the span of two days…yes I said TWO days, and believe me when I say that it was overwhelming and frightening, because I didn’t understand what was happening to him. Add to the fact that he is also developmentally delayed/mentally handicapped.

To see someone rapid cycling through multiple moods, going from being verbally aggressive one minute, pacing and agitated, anxiety then paranoia that pictures are looking at them is surreal…it’s something you think you’ll only see in movies. The sad fact is they are so out of touch with reality, and nothing you say or do has any effect. And yes, my son was hearing voices as well. No my son is NOT schizophrenic, getting a proper diagnosis does not happen over night, there are so many factors that come into the equation, and so many mental illnesses that their symptoms cross the boundaries of each other that getting a diagnosis is a painstaking process and usually involves multiple episodes that require hospitalization.

People have the attitude ‘that was so out of character’ because IT WAS! When a person is having a psychotic episode they are not the person you know and love, their behavior and actions ARE out of character for them. Because they are out of touch with reality, the psychosis IS their reality.

Knowing why won’t change what has happened, there is no answer to the why question in this tragedy…