“God Saved Me”

That is one of the most amazingly obtuse things people say in times of duress.  I was watching a news broadcast about the tornadoes in the US a few days ago and this man was explaining how he prayed very hard for God to save his family and his home.  And guess what -he and his family made it!  And the house was fine.  But then the report went on to reveal the house next door…and the man said “my neighbor wasn’t so lucky”.  So.  God went out of his way to save this guy and his house because he prayed really hard.  But God decided not to save the neighbor’s house…why?  Because he didn’t pray hard enough?  Really?  It absolutely amazes me when I hear this all the time.  “I’m so blessed”.  “God saved me”.  Seriously?  He picked you?  How huge is your ego that God decided to save you today and not that poor little kid in Chad?  You’re SO special!  And, obviously, I am far from the first person to notice this little idiosyncracy of religious types.

I recall one time when I was foolish enough to join a Moms group at a local church – it was supposed to be a non-religious group that was simply holding the meeting and events in a church.  Wow!  Not!  The group was run like a Sunday School…for the Moms.  There was a “get-together in small groups and chat” session and then a presentation about Life as an allegorical tree with roots and branches all twisted up with Faith (really – this was supposed to be a non-religious group).  Then we did a CRAFT!  Holy Crap.  I told them I would have really appreciated nap-time.  Anyhoo.  In the presentation one day, the leader started to tell us anecdotes about her kids and then quickly broke down to crying and saying that she could not believe that Jesus decided that she was worthy to have a child – that she could not believe that Jesus trusted her so much that he decided to bless her with the responsibility of having and raising children.  All the ladies around me started crying and nodding and blowing their noses and I was waiting for everyone to start talking in tongues.  I am SURE my eyes were rolling OUT OF MY HEAD.  When the filters finally fail, I am going to be a nasty old woman because I could barely keep myself in my seat – I wanted to scream – ANYONE with with a function set of ovaries, a good uterus and access to sperm can have a kid – Jesus is not part of the freaking program!  Otherwise it means that Jesus ALSO decided that the drug addled hooker with 6 kids ALSO had Jesus’ approval.  Who are these people that think that any spiritual being is focusing on them over anybody else.  So the person who is not provided with a child did not have Jesus’ approval?  Like they were not good enough – so they get to be barren?  WTF?

Okay.  Rant done.