And so we settle into another evening with Jake and girls. I wonder what exciting hi-jinks will ensue. I’m as happy as a little girl.
Catching the last few minutes of Wheel of Fortune – how can anyone watch this show??
Okay – yay! Hear we go. Rehash. And tonight – San Francisco. And again – I should really retouch my roots.
Jake – “He’s so confused” – great way to choose a wife eh?
End of the road trip. Ali will be in her town.
Jake in a leather bomber. Mmmm. Beef.
Vienna is getting a lot of camera face time.
And one of the five girls never gets any face time. The one with the glasses…who is she again? Corrie? She is so obviously not in the running.
Tenley gets the one-on-one date. I still can’t see her as The One.
Oh – and LOST starts tomorrow!!!!!!!
Nice boots Tenley. Cute coat. Stupid scarf.
China town. Tenley – she’s so playful. Gag. Window shopping. Boring. Awkward date. Blah kiss.
“I want to know him so much more”
Jake is “starting to fall” for Tenley – are we still playing that drinking game?
Back at the ranch…things are getting really tense. Ali and Vienna discuss the previous night – the rose ceremony. And Vienna is right. Ali was angry that Jake had kept Vienna. Gia and Vienna are going on the next date I guess. I’m not really sure why Ali is all about the anti-Vienna drama. Why bother? Is she (Ali) a super bitch in disguise?
Back on the date, dinner. On the roof of some tower. He pictures Tenley as his wife. Really? WTF. Obviously he sees something that we don’t. I could not stand her baby voice. Jake wants respect from his wife. And love. These two are mindblowing. And they don’t think cheating is good. And they open fortune cookies that say “Kiss Me”. “…the woman I’m falling for today.” Where is my beer?
The girls get a trunk delivered to the hotel room. A chest full of sparkly clothes. What the hell did Gia pick? Fugley. And Vienna has the scarf as noose. They are at a Vineyard in Nappa that looks like a castle. How many of these girls have their real nose?
Vienna decides to ignore Gia. Oh – Vienna! She’s bringing up Ali and cries. It is all about her isn’t it? Jake is being forced to focus on Vienna. Wow – is Vienna a cow or what? Look at the look on her face – spoiled rotten and a brat.
Gia gets a chance to talk to Jake – why does she still have a band-aid? “Are you falling for me because I’m falling for you” – where’s that beer? I think that there is way more chemistry with Gia than there was with Tenley. Vienna…exploring the castle – this is all so Scooby-Doo.
Vienna is lost…with a camera crew. Interrupts Gia and Jake snorgling.
Again – the legs in Jake’s lap. “I really am falling for you” she says. And Jake is really acting distant and Vienna sees that.
Back at the ranch, Corrie finally gets a date.
Back at the castle…the girls have to share a bedroom? OOOohh. Money shot of Jake in his man-cave with a fur bed and everything. And Vienna comes to visit neked man – bringing wine. She wants to spend the night. He sends her back upstairs…FAIL!
Corrie’s date…the “but” from Jake. They are having a day in the park. In high heels. In a boat. “It’s so fun”. Uh oh. This is really not fun. Jake is trying to connect but it is so not happening.
Back at ranch – Ali gets the next date. Wow – did you see that. Body language 101 – Vienna sucks the tip of her tongue.
Corrie and Jake have an underwater dinner. And they have a heart to heart about how slow their relationship is moving. She is saving herself for marriage. Jake liked that. He likey the virgin. Hmmm – things just stepped up for Corrie. Maybe she has a chance now. She does appear to be the most stable and mature of the girls that are left. Maybe this is why the show has avoided her thus far?
Ali’s date now. She is so pretty in blue. Cute dress and boots. Vienna whining – what a baby.
She has Barbie doll hands. He buys her flowers. I hate her. Lunch. Ali’s voice is annoying too. This is really a rather boring date for the viewers.
After a walk on the beach, the classic blanket on the grass Ali giving a backrub, kissing. Girl on top sex position. And then Jake brings up the Rose ceremony and…Vienna, indirectly. And…she’s falling for him. Beer.
Holy crap – she went into the ocean with her boots!!! Ack! I hope the show reimburses her.
Rose ceremony – I’ve fallen for all of these women. Beer.
Tenley – “a man I’m falling for” – beer. Oh look – they are going to dance…but no music.
Corrie – what the hell is a “wardrobe consultant”?
Vienna’s hair is stupid.
Jake snorgles Gia – lots of chemistry.
Jake takes Vienna aside to tell her not to worry. Jake wants to fall for her…beer.
I have no idea who he will get rid of tonight. The editing of the show has skillfully made all the girls possible candidates for wife. I still think that he might turf Corrie…but it is hard to tell. All the dogs need to go out for a pee but the commercials are not long enough. They will just have to cross their legs for a few more minutes. Why is this show two hours long?? Okay – now we have the conference with Chris. We get to learn how important the hometown visits are because we’re stupid. Recap. ” Tenley can look at me and make me laugh”. Gia is insecure. Corrie is “sweet”. Ali makes him feel safe. Vienna…he’s done with the other girls’ opinions.
What? Is he going to send Ali home? Why did he pick her picture up?
One of you will be going home tonight…I have fallen for five women…if only I lived in the middle east…
Roses go to…Tenley, Ali, Gia, and…Vienna. Ha! Vienna is SO this season’s Melissa.
Jake is all teary. Sad Corrie. I can’t wait to see how crazy Vienna’s family has got to be. Holy crap…Gia’s Mom looks like a dude. And for the first time ever, there won’t be a rose ceremony next week…or something…and there’s some random opera singing.
” into my Quick Notes and be ready to meet the world head-on.
